Creating a family and needing to care for are two basic instincts instilled in during birth. With a family comes certain rules, principles, loyalty, commitment and discipline. To maintain a family, the family has to have some values. Without which it will run astray as a result of undesirable influences from outside forces. To sustain itself every member of the family must do their part. Once that base is covered a family becomes functional in every possible way.
In fact each family is like a country in it’s own right. Every country need to have a budget, security, income, expenses, escrow, law and order. If there is no constitution or bylaws to be followed by its members within that household, anything may happen within it’s walls. The breadwinners acts as the king and Queen to keep that fort running smoothly. It may also becomes a dysfunctional family where each family member may do what ever they choose to, split in different directions and ultimately leads to fragmentation.
Just like anything else in life there will always be external forces at work to wreck havoc within that family, only if we allow it. Solo we lose, collectively we win. Family cohesion plays a major part at this juncture. In life not everyone will like us for what we are and who we are. Not everyone will be your friend. You should be cherry picking your friends in life who are willing to share your happiness and sorrows, wins and losses, times of difficulty and in good times. This is a true friend and we need to reciprocate likewise.
Today the whole World is full of virtual friends and most have NO REAL friends. Each of us are living on an isolated island, mostly on our own and passing each and every day not knowing what’s next. This constitutes majority of us. Don’t you think so? Do you know what loneliness does to people? Try it and you will see. It’s what I call starvation amidst plenty.
Family always comes first. Relatives are considered family who are much more closer than friends, basically due to the fact that they are bound to us through other family members. This relationship was brought on by our family ties with them. This is a virtual bond that binds us together. Even an extended family of this sort need to have certain set of rules for its members to stay disciplined and bonded as one close knit family. In one of my previous blogs, I have mentioned about Excess Baggage. To reiterate, these are undesirable emotions which most people carry on their backs all their lives only to find in the end that it has eaten that person from within. It literally eats a person from within, without that person even knowing it. It also lives within that person RENT FREE. How disgusting is that? Why would anyone do that? Would you allow anyone to live in your house rent free for life? Why are we allowing it? Because these emotions have hijacked the person and he or she loses complete control over their actions. Had that person learned to let go of that Excess Baggage in the first place, he or she could have had a perfectly Happy and well lived life. Examples of Excess Baggage includes, Ego, Hatred, Jealousy, envy etc just to name a few.
As a child is growing up in a family which constantly affirms its family values, that child will grow up to cherish this treasure and continues to help its progression. Values are also a learned behavior. Cherished values is a treasure that can be passed on from generation to another for generations. As we grow, we are continuously learning every minute of everyday from the minute we wake up to the time we close our eyes at night. Values also need to be learned.
Today we have conditioned to love products and use people. What about individual and family values? Do we care?
Without our individual and our collective family values we will be lost in this World of plentiful distractions. It’s very easy to get lost. Hold on to your family. It’s all that we have got.
But for our family we do not exist nor will we carry any identity. We will be a lonely tree in the middle of a desert.
Maybe a passing caravan may give us some water. That is maybe.